The Changing Nature of Work and Community

This section explores the reasons behind the increasing loneliness in American society, focusing on the changing nature of work and its impact on community formation.

Work is identified as a key source of friendship and community. Many close relationships, including spousal ones, often originate in the workplace. However, the modern workplace is rapidly changing, affecting its role as a community builder.

Example: The growth of the "gig" economy, frequent job changes, and increased mobility between cities all contribute to a less stable work environment.

These changes make it harder for people to form lasting relationships and develop a sense of community through their work.

The text then introduces a concept that Senator Sasse is particularly concerned about: a pervasive feeling of homelessness. This doesn't refer to literal homelessness, but rather to the lack of a place that people think of as home - a "thick" community.

Definition: A "thick" community is one where people know and look out for one another, investing in relationships that are not transient.

The author borrows a phrase from Sports Illustrated to describe this sense of community: the "hometown gym on a Friday night feeling". This evocative phrase captures the essence of belonging and shared experience that many Americans increasingly lack.

Redefining Community in a Mobile World

This final section presents a shift in perspective on what it means to be part of a community, based on the author's conversation with Senator Sasse.

When the author posed their concerns about finding community as a "rootless cosmopolitan" to Sasse, they received an unexpected response. Sasse told them that they had misunderstood the core message:

Quote: "learning how to intentionally invest in the places where we actually live"

This response challenges the notion that community and belonging are solely about having deep historical roots in a place or returning to one's hometown. Instead, it emphasizes the active role individuals must play in creating and nurturing community wherever they are.

Highlight: Being a member of a community isn't about whether one has a "Fremont" (referring to Sasse's hometown) or how one feels about any particular place.

This perspective shift suggests that the "hometown gym on a Friday night feeling" is not something that can only be found in one's place of origin. Rather, it's a sense of belonging and connection that can be cultivated through intentional effort and investment in one's current location.

This advice is particularly relevant for people like the author, who move frequently or live in places where they don't have historical roots. It suggests that meaningful community connections can be built anywhere, given the right mindset and effort.

Example: For someone moving to a new city, this might involve actively seeking out local events, joining community organizations, or volunteering - all ways of intentionally investing in the new place.

The text concludes by implying that the key to combating loneliness and building community in our mobile, modern world lies not in where we are from or where we live, but in how we choose to engage with and invest in our current surroundings.

The Epidemic of Loneliness in America

The text begins by highlighting a significant issue plaguing American society: widespread loneliness and social isolation. A survey by health care provider Cigna reveals alarming statistics about the state of social connections in the country.

Highlight: Nearly half of Americans report feeling alone or "left out" sometimes or always, while 13% say that no one knows them well.

This loneliness epidemic is not evenly distributed across age groups. The survey, which uses the U.C.L.A. Loneliness Scale, indicates that each successive generation experiences higher levels of loneliness than the previous one.

Definition: The U.C.L.A. Loneliness Scale is a common measure used to quantify and assess levels of loneliness and social isolation in individuals.

The text then introduces Senator Ben Sasse's book "Them: Why We Hate Each Other and How to Heal", which addresses this issue head-on. Sasse argues that loneliness is not just a social problem, but a potentially lethal one.

Quote: "loneliness is killing us"

This statement takes on a particularly dark significance in light of recent violent events, such as the mail-bomb campaign against critics of President Trump and the massacre at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh. Both of these acts were committed by isolated and seemingly very lonely individuals.