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17.6.2023
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Analysis relationship Sarfraz and Mohammed The relationship between Sarfraz and his father Mohammed in the biography "Greetings from Bury Park" by Sarfraz Manzoor is not very complicated. They don't communicate much, and they have different opinions and interests. Sarfraz is more British in his ways, while his father is more traditional Pakistani. They have different expectations in terms of Sarfraz's future. The relationship between Sarfraz and his father Mohammed is characterized by a significant lack of communication and a huge cultural gap. This lack of communication stops them from truly understanding each other and increases the distance between them. Sarfraz states that they are barely talked "I was barely on speaking terms with my father." (p.14, 1:3), indicating a lack of emotional connection. One major factor that also increases the distance between them is their different opinions. Mohammed holds traditional Pakistani beliefs, while Sarfraz is more integrated into modern British culture. This difference in cultural values and interests creates a significant divide between them. Sarfraz mentions that he is open to English, the prevailing language, while his father is not "I never spoke in English to parents." (p.14, 1.14-15). This cultural divide prevents their ability to connect and relate to each other. The authority and hierarchy within their relationship also play a role...
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in their dynamic. Mohammed is critical of Sarfraz's ideas of becoming a writer (cf. p.14, l.12-14). This dynamic suggests that Sarfraz must conform to his father's wishes and expectations, further it is also widening the gap between them. Additionally, their different life structures contribute to the distance between Sarfraz and Mohammed. Sarfraz is fixed in his own life, following his dreams and future ideas, while Mohammed returns to his own world "I was returning to my own life and he was returning to his." (p.17, 1.22-23). It highlights their separation and lack of shared experiences. Despite the lack of communication and distance, there are moments of excitement and joy in their relationship. However, these moments are often overshadowed by feelings of disappointment and a sense of failed love. Sarfraz feels regret and wonders how his father could have left his young family "How could my father left his young family?" (p.20, 1.9-10). These emotions complicate their relationship and contribute to the constant underlying tension. The tension in their relationship is also predetermined by the difficult experiences both Sarfraz and his father faced. Mohammed had a miserable time immigrating to Britain, suffering from racism and to miss opportunities for self-realization. Sarfraz, his mother, and other family members faced a hard time while being left behind in Pakistan (cf. p.22, 1.20-21). The problem of no constant contact during this separation also adds to the underlying tension in their relationship. Sarfraz feels obligated to adopt his father's wishes, such as attending university and starting an elite career, as they are seen as a sign of success and status for his parents "For my parents attending university was a sign of success and status" (p.50, 1.1-2). This expectation adds another layer of pressure to their relationship as Sarfraz feels pressured to fulfill his father's desires. Throughout the biography, Sarfraz's understanding of his father changes, and he often fails to fully appreciate Mohammed's values and way of life "I assumed this meant he would be home all day." (p.44, 1.12-13). This understanding is limited, and their relationship continues to be marked by misunderstandings. Despite this, he describes his father using adjectives like passionate, obsessed, and meticulous, indicating a level of respect and admiration. As time goes on, Mohammed's attitude also begins to change, and he becomes less stiff in his views (while Sarfraz is away at college). Sarfraz sees that, in his later years, Mohammed softens (cf. p.50, 1.28). This change in attitude leads to opportunities for understanding and connection between the two as they share some similarities in their evolving identities. Towards the end of the biography, Mohammed falls ill, and the family becomes worried about his health. Sarfraz feels guilty and regretful for not having a better relationship with his father. He wishes he could have enjoyed the time they had together and expresses confusion about how to communicate with his father, who is not able to hear him well "I felt embarrassing speaking to someone who probably could not hear what I was saying." (p.56, 1.1-2). This guilt and confusion highlight Sarfraz's realization of missed opportunities and his desire for a deeper connection with his father. In conclusion, the relationship between Sarfraz and his father Mohammed in "Greetings from Bury Park" is complex and contains a lack of communication, a significant generation and cultural gap, and missed opportunities for connection. The changing dynamics, different expectations, and attitudes between the two shape their relationship over the time until Mohammed dies. But in the end, Sarfraz's feelings of guilt and regret serve as a reminder of the importance of valuing relationships and finding ways to reduce the gaps that exist, even if it seems hard in the beginning. How would you describe the relationship between father and son? lack of communication "I was barely on speaking terms with my father" (p.14, 1.3) Distance between the two (different opinions) ->Mohammad being very traditional in his Pakistani way of thinking, Sarfraz being more integrated in the modern British culture different interests, Sarfraz being British, Mohammed being a Muslim (cf. p.17, 1.24-28) Different expectations, no real understanding/lack of communication ->Sarfraz is open for the prevailing language English, Mohammed is not "I never spoke in English to my parents." (p.14, 1.14-15) Authority, Hierarchie -> fathers opinion has more value ->Mohammed is very critical about Sarfraz job idea of writing (cf. p.14, 1.12-14) different life structures "I was returning to my life and he was returning to his." (p.17, 1.22-23) Unspoken love likely to be full of regrets as Mohammed leaves his family "How could my father left his young family?" (p.20, 1.9-10) the tension in their relationship is predetermined, Mohammed had a miserable time while immigrating in Britain (suffering from racism and no opportunity of self-realisation), Sarfraz, his mother and other family members had also a hard time while being left in Pakistan ->and no constant contact while being separated (cf. p.22 1.20-21) Safrat has to adopt to his father's wishes -> going to university and following an elite career "For my parents attending university was a sign of success and status (p.50, 1.1-2) Parts when they were excited/joyful Feeling of loving failed/disappoint Respect and admiration varies as Sarfraz cannot properly appreciate how his father works ,,I assumed this meant he would be at home all day." (p.44, 1.12-13) ->so the understanding in general in both sides is limited although Sarfraz is rather critical of Mohammed's values, he nevertheless describes him with adjectives such as passionate, obsessed and meticulous. Mohammeds attitude changes and is not that stiff anymore (while Sarfraz is on college) "In his later years Mohammed softened" (p.50, 1.28) ->this leads to more reasons for identity's between the two in the further evolution of their relationship Mohammed gets ill, the family is worried, his death is pretty sure Sarfraz feels guilty and regrets having conflicts with his father, he could've enjoy the last time he had with his father ->feels embarassing and is confused about what he should do "I felt embarrassing speaking to someone who probably could not hear what I was saying. (p.56, 1.1-2)